Define the Person You Want to Be
A self-definition of maturity
Determine who you want to be, even when no one assesses your performance.
Editorial takeaway
My experience
I am exploring what it means to me to be a good man, partner and possible future father. This sometimes clashes with expectations from relationships, sport and the people around me. I want to perform without looking back at a life in which important relationships didn't get room.
Based on what I myself told in coaching conversations (2023–2025), editorially summarized. Source: Transcript, p. 11–15 en 920.
The essential lesson
Identity arises not only by fulfilling external expectations. You have to choose which properties and values you want to develop in different life roles.
The core principle
Determine who you want to be, even when no one assesses your performance.
Apply it
Reflection questions
- 1What person do you want to be in your most important roles?
- 2What expectations of others do you take over without choosing them?
- 3What do you want to look back on later?
Editorial reflection questions, derived from the principle.
Practical exercise
- Choose three roles in your life. Write down three values per roll that you want to embody, and one behavior that makes those values visible this week.
Editorial application: Newly designed exercise, no literal source material.
My reflection
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My next step
Meet your Inner Team
The characters behind this principle
An interpretive layer on “Define the Person You Want to Be” — the story and lessons above stay the heart of the principle.