
Own Your Response, Not Other People's Decisions
Verantwoordelijkheid zonder schijncontrole
Focus your energy on your next choice, even after a painful rejection.
Editorial takeaway
My experience
In June 2024 I was not included in the Olympic selection — and as I experienced it, I was not personally informed. I had worked on the points of improvement mentioned, but the final choice was made elsewhere.
Based on what I myself told in coaching conversations (2023–2025), editorially summarized. Source: Transcript, p. 411–412.
The essential lesson
You can be responsible for your preparation and development without being responsible for any other decision.
The core principle
Focus your energy on your next choice, even after a painful rejection.
Apply it
Reflection questions
- 1What other decision do you carry with you?
- 2What was your cut, and what wasn't?
- 3What's your next choice?
Editorial reflection questions, derived from the principle.
Practical exercise
- Think of a decision made by someone else who touched you. Write down what you feel, what was beyond your control, and what one choice is yours now.
Editorial application: Newly designed exercise, no literal source material.
My reflection
Private: Your answers are only stored in this browser.
My next step
The Coach's Lens
Carl confronted me with my own part in my decisions. Owning my response meant examining the choices I made — while recognising what was never within my influence.
Which part of this situation is mine to examine, and what lies outside my influence?
The Coaching SideMeet your Inner Team
The characters behind this principle
An interpretive layer on “Own Your Response, Not Other People's Decisions” — the story and lessons above stay the heart of the principle.
The Rebuilder
“I can begin again, from where I am.”
Brings: adaptability, patience
Watch for: rushing into a new plan without acknowledging grief, disappointment or the need for recovery
What could progress look like from my current reality?
The Echo
“What if you fail again?”
Brings: identifying risks, questioning assumptions
Watch for: rumination
Is this thought helping me prepare, or preventing me from moving forward?
Keep exploring
Connected Principles
The Magical Mindset
Take Responsibility
Your circumstances matter, but your next answer remains yours.
The Unbreakable Mindset
To Goggins It — Train Your Mind. Don't Just Build a Stronger Body.
You can become physically stronger and still keep running from yourself.
The Unbreakable Mindset
No Ego — Choose Reality Over Being Right.
Let go of your need to be right — without letting go of who you are.